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You Are the Most Important Project: How Our Happiness Directly Affects Our Kids



As a working mother, juggling the demands of a corporate career and family life can be overwhelming. Amidst the hustle, it’s easy to put your own happiness and well-being on the back burner, believing that your children’s needs must come first. However, research shows that taking your own happiness seriously is not just beneficial for you—it’s crucial for your kids as well.


The Ripple Effect of Happiness

When you prioritise your happiness, everything else in life tends to flow more easily. A study published in the journal Developmental Psychology found that parents' stress levels significantly affect their children's well-being. When mothers experience high levels of stress, their children are more likely to exhibit behavioural issues and emotional distress. Conversely, a mother who is happy and fulfilled tends to create a positive environment where her children can thrive.


The Unseen Impact of Stress

Children are incredibly perceptive and can sense when their parents are stressed, overworked, and unhappy, even if we try to hide it. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, children can pick up on their parents' emotional states from a very young age. They may not understand the specifics, but they certainly feel the effects. If we’re constantly putting on a brave face while feeling overwhelmed inside, our kids will detect the negative energy and it can affect their own emotional health.


Prioritising Self-Care

Self-care is often misunderstood as selfishness, but it’s actually the opposite. Taking time for yourself ensures that you have the energy, patience, and emotional bandwidth to be the best parent you can be. Think of it as putting on your oxygen mask first before helping others. When you are happy and balanced, you are better equipped to handle the challenges of parenting and work, and you become a positive role model for your children.


Balancing Realism and Self-Compassion

This is not about feeling guilty for not being happy all the time. No one can maintain perpetual happiness, and nor should we have to. The aim is not perfection but prioritisation. By making self-care a regular part of your routine, you ensure that you have the resilience to cope with life’s inevitable ups and downs. It’s about understanding that your well-being is fundamental to your family’s long-term health and happiness.


Practical Steps to Take

  1. Schedule ‘Me Time’: Block out time in your calendar for activities that rejuvenate you. Whether it’s a hobby, exercise, or a quiet moment with a book, prioritize it as you would a work meeting.

  2. Set Boundaries: Learn to say no to additional commitments that drain your energy. Focus on what truly matters and let go of the rest.

  3. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to ask for help from family, friends, or professional services. A strong support network is invaluable.

  4. Mindfulness Practices: Engage in mindfulness or meditation to help manage stress and maintain a positive outlook.


By making your happiness a priority, you are not only enhancing your own life but also setting a powerful example for your children. They learn the importance of self-care, resilience, and the pursuit of joy.


Ultimately, you are your most important project. When you invest in yourself, you’re also investing in your family’s happiness and well-being.

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